


Sweetener Series/learning to smile series

by strldy



Series: Sweetener Series/learning to smile series [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 20,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24668473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strldy/pseuds/strldy
Summary: you have a dream about peter after being friends for years - originally posted on tumblr: august 31st, 2018
Relationships: Peter Parker/Reader
Series: Sweetener Series/learning to smile series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783639
Kudos: 2





	1. R.E.M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you have a dream about peter after being friends for years - originally posted on tumblr: august 31st, 2018

"Goodnight Parker, I'll catch ya on the flip side!" You yelled from below his window on your way home.

"Goodnight (Y/N), hope you won't be upside down when you come back!" He yelled back to you.

Your relationship with Peter Parker was too weird to talk to anybody else about. Being yourself around him was easy and you loved that. In fact when you got home that night he was all you could think about. . .

Drifting off to sleep you thought about what you and Peter would do the next day. But it didn't stop there, no in fact you started dreaming about the boy.

_"Oh Peter," you said gazing into his eyes._

_Peter inched his face closer and closer to yours wrapping his arms around you so tight you had a hard time breathing. As he kissed you a smile crept onto your face. Happiness had never felt this good before._

Curling up hugging your pillow as a cold brush of air crossed your body. Disturbing your wonderful sleep, your wonderful dream. You drifted back to sleep as soon as the delightful warmth came over you once again.

_Breaking from the kiss Peter took your hand and walked with you to the perfect spot. The perfect spot to watch the sunset. Sitting on a hillside cuddling into his chest with his arms wrapped around you. Both of you stared at the setting sun with all the pastel colors in the sky. The artist in you was having a hay day. The lover in you wanted to kiss Peter more._

_"Isn't it beautiful," you said dreamily._

_"Not as beautiful as you," Peter kissed you on the cheek._

As your dream came to an end with the sound of your father waking you up. It faded to memory. A memory that made your cheeks red and your mouth smile. You sat up rubbing your eyes.

"You're late," Your father said simply before walking away from your doorway.

" **I don't want to wake up** ," you croaked out still in a daze.

"Well to bad sweetie," your father looked back into your room. "You have school today."

"I know," you sighed out, "it's just I don't want to stop dreaming." You bounced back onto your pillow.

Before school starts you meet Peter outside in the courtyard. When you see him approach butterflies start fluttering in your stomach and your cheeks turn a glowing red. You didn't know what had changed but the excitement to explore it was eating you alive.

"Hey! You look rosie today," Peter said coming up beside you with his usual excitement and smile.

"Thanks," Your blush increased, "you look happy." Stating the obvious as your eyes nervously darted around.

"Obviously I'm happy," he laid his arm on your shoulders bringing you closer to him. "I'm with my best girl."

Resting your head on him you both started walking into school looking like a couple. Dreams really do come true.

Or at least you dreamed they did. . .


	2. blazed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> over the long weekend you and your friends get high and spill some truths - originally posted on tumblr: september 1st, 2018

It was the start of a long weekend when you and your friends were all sitting around bored. Wondering what in the world could be better than this. Out of the blue MJ spoke up saying, "hey why don't we just smoke some weed?"

The rest of you kinda looked at each other for a second then with an unspoken agreement you all nodded saying, "yeah okay, why not."

"So," Ned sighed, "anybody actually have some weed or do we have to go get some?"

"Oh no I have pot," MJ said reaching into her bag, "obviously I have some or I wouldn't have suggested we light up."

Peter nudged you knowing what you're like when you are high. You play punch his shoulder knowing he likes to sing songs when he's high. But that was something for everyone else to figure out on their own time.

When MJ lit the blunt and started passing it around you started getting nervous. not wanting any of your feelings to come out, at least not yet. But you feared ripping off the band aid might just be the way to do it.

"Your turn giggles," Peter said passing you the groups preferred drug.

"I'm not sure about this," you took the object from his hand shaking.

"What?" Peter acted dramatic.

"Well if you're not gonna join in pass it to me," Ned said grabbing at the blunt.

"Hey now," Peter caught everyone's attention, "just give (Y/N) a second. I know **shorty** ," he looked in your eyes, " **you can get blazed.** "

Feeling comfortable with his words you were ready for anything, everything. Taking a puff of the calming drug you let yourself relax, you let yourself forget what you were worried about. Right when you were about to pass the blunt to Ned, Parker started tickling you. Trying to make you laugh but you held your composure until the ganja was safely passed along.

"You didn't laugh," Peter huffed crossing his arms with a sour expression on his face like a little kid. You looked at the scene he was making and started to giggle because he was so fucking cute. "There she is," his face instantly lit up.

"Where else would I be, Parker?" You continued to giggle.

"I don't know. Maybe you'd be an entirely different person," Peter mellowed out wrapping an arm around you and leaning back into the couch.

"That sounds stupid," you smiled at him.

"Well I guess the fairies didn't make me correctly then," he sang.

"I think they made you perfectly," You cuddled into him.

 _"When I first saw you, from across the room, I could tell that you were curious,"_ Peter sang at the top of his lungs.

"You know I am curious," you paused to giggle, "curious if we have any food."

"Isn't the weed all we need," Ned said his face down in the flooring, "holy shit dudes, I think I just said something smart."

"No, no," MJ points to you, "giggles over there is on to something." Passing the blunt to the next person. "We should totally like order cheeseburgers or Chinese food or something."

"Yes," you moaned in excitement. "I need sustenance!"

 _"Baby I got love for thee, so deep inside of me, I don't know where to start,"_ Peter sung low switching songs.

"You have love for cheeseburgers or Chinese food?" You asked him giggling.

"Uh," he had a blank expression on his face, "cheeseburgers."

"Yeah okay I'm down," you put your hand on his chest feeling his surprisingly chiseled features. Then like word vomit you whispered really loudly, "I think I have feelings for Parker."

Peter's relaxed body stiffened underneath you.

"I would love to know what it's like to kiss you," you continued on your love escapade.

 _"Baby say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and let me kiss you,"_ Peter sang terribly making you laugh, as he leaned in and gently put his soft lips onto yours. Everything after that got a little fuzzy but you know for sure that the kiss was better than you dreamed.


	3. sweetener

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter is late for your first date - originally posted on tumblr: september 4th, 2018

'Come on Parker, where the fuck are you?' You mutter under your breath waiting for him to show up. But at that moment he was out as Spider-man. And when he was done fighting crime he looked down at the time shining on his phone.

_7:11_

"Aw shit!" He rubbed his temple in annoyance at what poor time management he had. Still in the suit going from building to building to make up some time he goes to where he hoped his backpack was still stashed.

"Oh thank God," he sighed picking up his backpack and opening it, rifling through it for his clothes. Pulling out a suit and tie perfect for your dinner date. Peter starts to strip off the spidey suit quick to replace it with the other one. After fixing his monkey suit so it looked like it hadn't been stuck in a bag most of the day.

Resting his bag on his shoulder he starts to run down the street toward the restaurant you both love. Eventually taking off his tie before he walked in, because being over the top and fancy was never something he did.

_7:29_

Half an hour late to the date he walks in calm and collected. Once you get your eyes on him you light up like sunshine.

"Hey," he smiles sitting across from you. "I'm surprised you're still here."

"Well I knew the only reason you would be late is if something important came up," you shrugged knowingly.

"You look absolutely stunning," Peter looked in your eyes continuing to smile.

Hiding your burning face behind the menu you couldn't help but smile too. "Your just saying that Parker," you glanced at him then back down at the menu.

"You don't have to be nervous," Peter reached to take your hand. "It's just me."

His stupid smile wouldn't leave his perfect face. But it made you comfortable in the best way possible. "I'm not nervous," you put the menu down and squeezed his hand lightly.

"Good," he started to gently rub his thumb over your knuckles, "because I love the time we spend together."

"So do I," you finally smiled back at his contagious personality.

After you order food you talked for what felt like hours.

"This **tastes like salt** ," you state scrunching your face at your own mistake.

"Yea well my tea **needs sweetener** ," Peter begins to pour the sweetener into the iced tea.

When you finished you went for a walk to your favorite ice cream parlor, ordering your favorite flavors. Laughing at all his old dad jokes.

"You are so cute," he says laughing at your giggles making you blush.

"And you're funny," you say in between giggle fits.

"Now you're just flattering me," Peter takes a spoonful of his ice cream and plops it in his mouth.

"You would know if I was flattering you Parker," you smiled looking at his chubby cheeks filled with the sweet treat.

Squinting his eyes he proceeded to squeal, "BrAiN fReEzE!"

"Aw Parker," you giggle some more, "just put your tongue on the roof of your mouth," you put your hand on his for comfort, "that should make it all better."

Swallowing hard, "you know just what to say (Y/N), but that is incorrect. At least not for me," he smirked.

"Don't get cocky Parker," you smirk back.

"Me, cocky, I don't think so," he stuck his tongue out and started to lick the sides of the bowl to get every last bit of ice cream.

"Hm, that's good to know," you bit your lip, " **I like the way you lick the bowl.** "

Peter looked up at you eyes wide with curiosity.

"Why don't we get out of here," he put down the bowl, getting up, grabbing your hand and pulling you out the door.

"Peter where are we going?" You smiled.

"To watch the sunset," he looked over his shoulder at you.

Relaxing into the night, you sit on Peter's fire escape watching the sun go down. "This is nice," you put your head on his shoulder.

He looks over at you with a smile on his face, "absolutely beautiful."

"Yeah," you cuddle further into him.

Peter moved your head so it was on his chest and started to stroke your hair, "you are so beautiful," he kissed the top of your head, "and your hair is so soft, like a puppy."

Burying your fiery cheeks into his chest, you smiled at the compliments he gave you.

"Aw and cute too," Peter laughed.

You pushed off of his chest and looked at how his eyes closed and mouth opened with a smile when he laughed, "but Peter your the cute one." You planted a sweet kiss on his cheek.

Calming his body Peter said, "I know this is going to sound like so cheesy," he blushed, "but you missed."

"What?" You looked at him quizzically.

Taking you by surprise Peter kissed you. A kiss so gentle it melted your heart. You never wanted it to end, everything was perfect. This is what you had been dreaming about.

"Peter," you said dreamily.

"(Y/N)," Peter brought you back into his chest as you watched the stars come out.

"Let's enjoy the moment," you both said simultaneously.

For the first time in your life Peter actually walked you home. "I don't want to leave you," you hugged him goodbye.

Peter lifted your head so you looked at him, "I will never leave you. And we will see each other tomorrow so keep your head up," he kissed you goodnight.

Drifting off to sleep that night you dreamed about that kiss. You dreamed about tomorrow and how Peter always made you feel safe.


	4. the light is coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you begin to feel like peter is too good for you - originally posted on tumblr: september 7th, 2018

One weekend Peter dragged you to the gym. Now you didn't know why he was so insistent but you didn't mind. In fact you didn't actually know he went to a gym.

"Slow down silly," you giggled as Peter ran into the building ahead of you.

"No I'm to excited," he stopped to look at you.

Running into his strong body you wrapped your arms around him in a hug.

"Okay Parker you can stop showing off your girlfriend," some dude rudely commented.

"I will do whatever I want," Peter sassed. Holding your hand as he walked towards the weights.

"Oh my man is so strong!" You give him encouragement.

"Yeah I am," he winked at you in between lifts.

For a while you just watched kinda surprised at how much he could lift. Having no clue truly how strong he was, you were fascinated to find out.

"Looking good Peter," a cute girl sang out as she watched him lift a lot of weight.

"Thanks," he politely nodded her way.

You started feeling a bit out of place with all of the beautiful and in shape people around. Especially with all the girls paying so much attention to Peter. It gave you anxious butterflies in your stomach. So you decided to take a walk around the building and think about stuff. Peter wouldn't miss you.

Walking out of the building you started thinking negative thoughts. Every possible thing that went through your mind involved how Peter was to good for you. But then he would tell you things like, 'you are being absolutely ridiculous! Just let yourself be happy.' Then he would most likely hug you and kiss the top of your head, those thoughts made you happy and hope for the best.

"What are you doing out here by yourself?" Peter snuck up behind you.

"Holy shit dude," you raised your voice. "Don't sneak up on someone like that!"

"Sorry," he looked at you with puppy eyes.

"I just came out here for air. All those musleheads in there take it all in," you shyly smiled in his direction.

"Oh yeah," he breathed in, "I get it." He breathed out.

"Your popular at the gym," you stated blatantly.

"I guess so, does that bother you?" He questioned.

"No," you sighed, "it just got me thinking about things no one ever really wants to think about when they are happy."

"What's wrong?" He started to rub your back.

Taking a deep breath to muster up enough courage to tell Peter what's on your mind. You spit out, " **why do we have chemistry?** "

"I don't know," he rubbed his chin in thought, "because we make really good partners," he smiled.

"I'm serious Peter. Why do you think we work so well together?" You looked him in the eye.

"Why do you think I wasn't serious?" He said sadly.

"Because I'm not confident like you," a tear rolled down your cheek as you hugged yourself.

He was silent for a while before speaking, "I'm not as confident as I appear to be (Y/N)," turning to you with sadness in his face. "But whenever we are together, all my anxiety and worries disappear. Don't you feel that?"

"I do, and it scares me," you brought your knees to your chest, "especially when every other girl is hitting on you."

"What?" Peter looked at you quizzical.

"Oh my god Peter don't tell me you haven't noticed all the attention!" You were shocked at his response.

"Honestly, no I haven't noticed. I only pay attention to the one girl I care about," He spoke softly.

"Yeah, And whose that?" You said kinda irritated.

Breathing in for confidence, "You. You are the one I care about."

Looking at him with wide eyes, you lurched forward engulfing him in a hug. Tears started to run down your face. But they weren't sad tears they were happy tears.

Peter took your face in his hands and started wiping your tears away with his thumbs. "Don't cry, I will start crying if you cry," he looked into your soul.

"I can't help it," You sniffled, "you took the words right out of my mouth." A small smile crept up on your face. Leaning in putting your forehead on his, you were comfortable. And it felt really fucking good.


	5. pete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you are so undeniably happy with peter that you show pda at school - originally posted on tumblr: september 10th, 2018

Monday, you and Peter walked hand in hand though the doors of the school. Everyone was looking. Probably wondering what took so long or some shit like that. But neither you or Peter cared.

"Hey, looks like Penis Parker finally got some," Flash traumatically teased.

"Fuck off," you bounced back.

"Oh she has some spunk, l like that! I like that a lot!" Flash pestered you.

Rolling your eyes you just walked away. He wasn't worth anyone's time acting like that. But you didn't realize Peter had let go of your hand. When you looked around to see where else he could've gone to, what you saw horrified you to the bone.

"Don't you dare talk to my girlfriend like that again!" Peter screamed in Flash's face.

Rushing over to him you try to stop the fight. Except the two knuckleheads wouldn't listen to you.

"What are you gonna do about it?" Flash lead Peter on.

"This," Peter said, but before he could throw a punch you got in the middle of them.

"STOP!" You yell. Moving towards Peter you wrap your arms around his neck trying to calm him down.

"Why did you stop me?" he asked angrily.

"I stopped you because I don't want you to get detention or worse expelled," you took a deep breath, "he's not worth it Peter. Of all people you should know that."

"Your right (Y/N), I lost my temper," he hugged you back, "I just don't want anyone especially not that scumbag talking about you, to you ever!"

Both of you just stayed where you were until MJ cleared her throat, "um guys."

"What?" You said dreamily looking into Peter's eyes.

"It's time for class," Ned chimes in.

"Alright," Peter said nonchalant.

You kissed him on the cheek as you let go and started walking towards your first class. As you approached your class someone grabbed your wrist. Slowly you turned to see who it was, "Parker you scared the living daylight out of me!" You playfully hit his chest.

"I'm sorry," he moved his grip to your hand, "it's just you forgot something."

"No I didn't," You scrunched up your face, puzzled.

"Yes you did," he leaned in and pecked your lips softly. "You forgot that."

A vigorous blush rose to your cheeks. Walking though the classroom door you couldn't seem to stop smiling. Something inside you just lit up everytime he was near and you didn't hate it.

"Someone is smiley today," Gwen cheerfully said in your direction.

"You know what," you looked at her and sighed, "I am."

"Looks like someone is **happy**!" Betty said poking your sides, making you laugh.

"Sto- stop!" You giggled out as she concluded jabbing your sides.

As the day continued your mood only grew happier and happier. At lunch you sat at your usual table surrounded by friends. But Peter was nowhere to be seen. The smile on your face diminished at the thought of him eating somewhere else.

All of a sudden two hands cover your eyes in darkness. Immediately you knew it was Peter, but you wanted to stay calm.

"Guess who?" Peter teased.

"Um...... is it, Ned?" You joked making everyone around you laugh except Peter.

"No silly," he removed his hands and showed you his face, "it's me!"

You smile and hug his neck at the sight of the cutest boy on the planet. "I missed you," whispering in his ear burying your face into him.

"I missed you too (Y/N)," he kissed your cheek.

"GET A ROOM!" MJ yelled from across the table.

"Um... yeah, stop being so cute," Ned said a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Okay we will," you sassed taking Peter's face in your hands and kissing his lips lightly.

After lunch, in your next class you sat next to Peter like usual. Except this time neither of you wanted to pay attention. Passing notes back and forth was what you ended up doing most of the period.

**U R super cute -Peter**

_No U R -(Y/N)_

**Stop flattering me -Peter**

_Well I only know how to tell the truth -(Y/N)_

"PETER, (Y/N)!" Your teacher looked in your direction, "pay attention. If I have to call you out again you will be given detention!"

"Sorry, it won't happen again," you both say in unison. Once they start teaching again you let a small giggle slip out from under your breath.

"SHH!" Peter put his finger over his lips.

"Oh, sorry," you whisper into your hands.

When the final bell rang you ran out of the school to meet Peter. Reaching the outside you start looking around for the familiar face. Out of nowhere you are being turned around. You lay your eyes on the person who turned you around and can't help but jump into his arms.

"PETE!" You happily say in his ear snuggling your face in his neck.

"There's my **happy** girl," Peter said with a smile on his face as he put you back down on the ground.

"And you're my **happy** boy," wrapping your arms tightly around his neck taking in his scent.

Peter walked home with you, arm around your waist, keeping you close. Talking all the way down the road about things that could only possibly matter to the two of you. He stayed over for a study date but to be honest, not much studying went on. In fact most of the night you just snuggled and talked about little things. It truly was the happiest time of your life.


	6. successful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you celebrate peter's birthday - originally posted on tumblr: september 17th, 2018

The rest of the school year went by pretty slowly. So when summer started the first thing you did was take a road trip and go to the beach! That's all you ever wanted to do, especially now that your dating Peter. Building sandcastles was at the top of your list of things to do together. Burying him in the sand was number two.

"What do you want to do first?" Peter asked joyously when you got out of the car.

"Oh you know we have to build sandcastles first!" you rushed over to him hugging his side.

Walking down to the beach bantering about how relaxing and fun the day was going to be. You pushed off of Peter once you reached the sand and started running around freely, the biggest smile on your face.

"Wait for me!" Peter ran after you.

"NO! I'm as free as a bird!" You held your arms out against the wind.

"Let me join you then," Peter quickly came up next to you being a bird.

"Look at our lovebirds," MJ sarcastically says while taking video of your birdisms.

"Um, definitely birdlike," Ned agreed.

Running up to the water you drop to your knees and enjoy the cool waves against your skin. Peter came down behind you wrapping his arms around your waist, keeping the harsh sea winds from making you shiver.

All of a sudden you hear a quiet beeping noise.

"What's that noise?" You looked around for the source.

"I don't hear anything," Peter was flustered as he got up off the sand.

"Are you sure? You sound like you know what the sound is," your eyebrow raised at him not believing one word of that sentence.

"Uh......," looking down and pulling his phone out, "oh I'm just getting a call," he rubbed the back of his head with a nervous smile on his face.

"Well don't answer it," lying on the beach looking at the sky.

"Why not?" He quizzed.

"Because we're having a good time," you sighed, "obviously," you mumbled.

Peter held his phone looking at you thinking about what to do. Ultimately he answered the phone. Knowing who was on the other end.

"Hello," Peter said quietly walking away from you.

_"Kid! We need your help!" Tony Stark scrambled on the other line._

"What's happening Mr. Stark?" Peter sounded worried.

_"This joker got it in his head that it's okay to steal my stuff," Tony exasperated, "I could really use you right now kid."_

"Alright, I'll be there as soon as possible!" Peter hung up.

Walking over to where you lay Peter did the same, mounting on his elbow. Looking at your relaxed facade he hated the news he was about to break.

"(Y/N), I hav-," Peter started.

"Stop right there Parker," you lifted your hand in front of his face, "I know who was on the phone. The only reason you would have answered is if it was like super duper important. So just go, do whatever needs to be done," you looked him in the eyes, "Hero."

"Oh so you think I'm a hero?" He questioned rolling on top of you. Keeping himself from crushing you by putting his hands on either side of you head.

"To me you are," you say sweetly looking into his eyes.

"You are the only person I wanna be a hero too," he bent his elbows enough to bring his lips to yours in passion. Wrapping arms around his neck bringing him all the way down to you. You took charge and rolled on top of him, like a classic beach movie make out. But that's where it ended, he abruptly stopped the perfect summer day to rush towards the Stark internship.

Weeks had passed since the beginning of summer beach day. Now it was almost the end, and you were planning what to do for Peter's birthday. So much happened over the summer that now it's coming to a nice slow end with a baller birthday bash.

"Oh it's going to be so much fun," you said over the phone to Ned your co-birthday planner in crime.

"We have to keep it a surprise though, so no spilling the beans. I know how you tell him everything," he said seriously.

"I don't tell him everything," you scoffed.

"Yes you do," you could feel him roll his eyes through the phone.

"If you say so. But I can keep a secret," you tell him.

"What secret?" Peter came from behind kissing your neck in surprise.

"Ned thinks I can't keep a secret," you tell him as you put the speaker phone on.

"That's because you can't," he laughs.

"Wanna bet?" you raise your eyebrow wondering if he would take the bait.

"I'll take that bet!" Ned exclaimed.

"Oh yeah I'll put money on it," Peter said.

"Hey!" You narrowed your eyes turning to look at him.

"What?" he said almost offended.

"You don't believe I can keep a secret?!" You whine.

"Okay, I'm gonna get off the phone now. Peter if you wanna continue this conversation, just text me," Ned hung up.

"I know you can keep a secret," he took your hands in his pulling you close to him.

"Then why did you take the bet?" You sighed.

"I was putting money on Ned losing," he laughed.

"Oh Peter," you took him into a hug with your head on his chest, "what would I do without you?"

"I don't know, probably be miserably and secretly in love with me forever," he laughed harder.

Looking up at him with eyes narrow just shaking your head vigorously, "that's not funny."

"It's a little funny," he smirked at you.

"No it's not!" You pout.

"Your right," he looked at you seriously, "it's not funny."

"Damn straight," you crossed your arms.

"You are so adorable," he just looked at you admiring your soft features. Reaching out to touch your lips. But you stopped him.

" **Happy Birthday!** " you giggle.

"What?" Peter took a step back surprised at your sudden outburst.

"Well it is your birthday today isn't it?" You roll your eyes.

"Yeah....." he paused, "so, **what did you get me?** " Peter started pestering you with a smirk and eyebrow wiggles.

" **It's a surprise** ," you sing.

"Aw come on........," he whined, "tell me!"

"No," you giggled hitting his chest.

Taking you in his arms, Peter kisses you passionately. Leaving your lips swollen and speechless when he pulls away.

Hiccuping you ask him, "what was that for?"

"No reason, I just think your cute," he winked.

"I think you're cute too," you wrapped your arms around his neck kissing him again. Softly, longingly making the moment last for as long as possible. Peter picked you up walking you over to the couch. Laying you down gently he caressed your cheek looking into your eyes with love.

Tugging at his hair pulling him closer to you, lips touching slightly. You hug his body with your legs bringing him down to you. Kissing and biting your neck leaving his mark on you. Peter abruptly stopped the pleasure filled moment and lifted off your body to take his shirt off. Coming back down placing a hand on your breast, smashing his lips onto yours in passion. Playing with your hair . . .

The front door shut. Footsteps were coming closer to the living area. But you were so enthralled in your activities to notice.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Aunt May took you out of bliss.

Separating as quickly as possible red spread across all cheeks in embarrassment.

"No need to get angry May," a smooth voice came from behind you, "they're just kids, it's there time. As long as they were planning on using protection."

Your blush only grew.

"Uh...," Peter groaned.

"What Peter?" May put a hand on her hip, "you don't think having sex on a couch is a mistake!"

"We were just making out!" Peter threw his hands up in defense and his head back in annoyance.

"That was going to turn into sex," the voice said, "was it going to be your birthday present?"

You could hear the smirk.

"No Mr.Stark," Peter was even more annoyed now, "it wasn't going to be my present."

Your eyes got wide. The voice was Tony Stark.

"Well kid, here's a present from me if your girlfriend hasn't gotten you anything," And he left.

"So nothing happened?" Aunt May pestered.

"Nothing happened," Peter looked at her with sincerity.

Before May could speak the door flew open with Ned, MJ and a bunch of your other friends for a surprise party. Leaving Peter speechless. The night was a rager. You did things that parents wouldn't want their kids to do, but no one cared. It was a birthday!


	7. borderline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you finally find out peter is spider-man - originally posted on tumblr: september 22nd, 2018

Before the first day of school, you and Peter were supposed to spend time together. But he was nowhere to be seen the entire day.

On your way back to your apartment some big man person decided to jump you. Now you knew how to defend yourself in situations like this but this guy was just too strong for you to get out of his grip. You even tried biting him but he didn't budge.

All of a sudden a red and blue dot swung by. You hoped it would stop to save you but it was just a dot; how could a dot save you?

Out of nowhere Spider-Man swooped in.

"Why are you bothering this beautiful young lady?" He made you blush.

"Well, I just wanted," the guy sighed before continuing, "I just wanted to take her stuff?" He questioned his own actions.

"That doesn't sound very nice now does it?" Spider-Man put his hands on his hips with attitude.

"No it doe-" you tried to say but the guy covered your mouth.

"Shut up, I'm trying to think," he flustered tightening his grip on you.

"Never tell a lady to shut up," Spider-Man webbed his hand off of your mouth, "it's not polite."

Taking a deep breath you felt relieved not having his sweaty hand on your face anymore, "Aw thank you so much Spider-Man. Now help me get out of his grip!" You struggle.

Spider-Man, evaluating the situation was careful to not hurt you. When he decided to web his way around the vicinity until he quietly came up behind the sleazebag. Making sure not to be heard he jumped on his back in a surprise attack.

"AH," he screamed letting you go. "WHAT THE FUCK!"

"Watch what you say around the pretty lady," Spider-Man grunted fighting off the guy.

"Why? Is she some sort of delicate flower?" The guy asked snickering.

Spider-Man froze staring at you for an answer. Should he tell the truth or keep acting like he doesn't know you?

Taking him out of thought he heard you screaming, "SPIDER-MAN WATCH OUT!"

"Aw shit," he calmly stated before webbing the criminal up in a tight knot like state.

"Hey," the guy sounded offended.

"Oh what now?" Spider-Man annoyingly looked in his direction.

"I thought we weren't supposed to talk that way in front of the lady," he said.

"No," Spider-Man walked over to you taking you by the side, "you're not supposed to talk that way in front of the lady."

With that Spider-Man tightened his familiar grip around your waist. And shot a web to stick to the side of the building swinging away from the danger. Landing on the roof of the next building you stumble forward from the abrupt landing.

"Are you alright (Y/N)?" Spider-Man held his hands out to help you.

"How do you know my name?" You looked confused.

"Oh did you not tell me?" He rubbed the back of his neck while mentally freaking out.

"No I- WAIT!" You startled the Spider hero.

"What! Are you hurt?" He came over and squeezed your shoulders.

"I'm fine." You pushed his hands off of you, "What's going to happen to the guy who jumped me?"

"Oh that..." he calmed down, "I called in a favor."

"What kind of favor?" You asked suspicious.

"I just called the police Okay! Ya know how every friendly neighborhood Spider-Man does?" He exaggerated.

"I thought you were the only Spider-Man. Guess your late to the party, huh," you teased.

Spider-Man looked down at the roof not saying anything, just digging his heel into the concert.

"Oh well, thanks for helping me out," You tuck your hair behind your ear and start to back away.

"Can I give you a lift anywhere?" He quickly said before you left him forever.

"Um," you bit your lip in thought, "I only live a few buildings away. But I think I'll be fine after all your help."

As you walked away Spider-Man chased after you in an effort to convince you to take him up on his offer.

"No thank you," you turned him down again, "this was the first time I ever had a problem getting home by myself and I don't need a hero's escort."

"I'm just trying to help," he looked down, "it's what I do."

Well," you sighed, "I wouldn't want to stop anyone from doing there job." giving in to the Spider's persistence you let him take you home.

As you talked to Spider-Man on your route home you felt a safe energy that you only felt around one other person. It could be a coincidence or could it be the same person? But you didn't like the last part of that thought. That would mean your boyfriend put himself in danger on purpose!

"I believe we have arrived at your destination young lady," Spider-Man bowed at your feet.

"Why thank you sir," you said in a fancy accent along with a curtsy.

Before you could enter your apartment you burst out into laughter. A familiar kind of laughter that usually only happens around Peter. You were starting to get suspicious that Spider-Man was Peter.

"Anyway I better be going now. More people to help ya know," he blushed under his mask.

"Wait," you halted him before he reached the elevator, "can I give you a kiss before you go?"

"Um," he took a long pause rubbing his arm while thinking, "I do-don't usually do that sor-t of thi-thing." He stuttered nervously.

A red hue came over your face. Maybe he wasn't Peter, or maybe he is Peter and thinks you don't know?

"A kiss on the cheek then?" You pushed your heel into the floor.

"I guess that would be acceptable." He lifted his mask so you could see a small smile on his lips. When they touched your cheek you felt a sensation like no other. Lifting you hand to your cheek you had your answer.

"But," you looked around and the Spider was gone. The kiss you were supposed to give him, he had given to you. Such a Peter move.

"I know who you are . . . Spider-Man," you whispered going into your apartment.

"How was your day?" your dad scared you.

"Oh the usual," you lied as you walked toward you bedroom.

"Did you see Peter today?' your dad yelled as you were closing your bedroom door.

"No, he had to cancel last minute," a little sadness dripped from your voice.

"Well he's here now," your face lit up as you ran to the living area. When your eyes fell to his you couldn't help but tear up a little knowing the truth.

"What's wrong love?" Peter took you in his arms, worry spread all over his face.

"I just missed you is all," you sniffled.

"You saw me yesterday," Peter laughed.

You hit his chest hard not thinking it was funny. In all honesty you were worried about him.

"I'll leave you two alone," your dad awkwardly backed out of the room.

"Is everything okay?" Peter touched your face wiping away tears.

"No," you spoke softly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" he questioned brows furrowed.

"That you're Spider-Man," you whispered looking into his eyes.

The room fell silent. It felt like days before he answered you.

"How did you figure it out?" he asked sitting on the couch head in his hands.

"You saved me today, kissed me today, I know you Peter, I could pick you out of a line-up," you answered.

Lifting his head to look at you, he spoke, "I didn't tell you because I didn't want to put you in danger."

"Look where that got us," you sat next to him leaning into the couch.

"Hey," he took you by the shoulders turning you to face him, "that guy was a mugger. He didn't know you had any connection to me. But it still shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," you sighed, "I'm sorry you had to save me."

"Why?"

"I should have been able to save myself. But he was to stro-," Peter interrupted.

"Never be sorry for needing help (Y/N)," he took you into a hug, "everyone needs help."

"No more keeping secrets, okay," you looked in his eyes with a serious expression across your face.

"No more secrets," he repeated.

"Your gonna **meet me at the borderline**?" you asked.

"I'm meeting you at the border," he rested his forehead on yours, "where do we go from here?"

"I don't know? But I'm curious to find out," you smiled.

"Let's do this!" he excitedly kissed you, "All the way baby, just you and me!"

You laughed falling on top of Peter feeling relaxed, and yet there was a new strain in your heart that you didn't think was going to go away anytime soon.


	8. raindrops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after finding out peter is spider-man you unintentionally avoid him - originally posted on tumblr: september 26th, 2018

It was an unusual rainy day in New York. Of course you had to go to school, but all you wanted was to stay in bed. After Peter confirmed his second identity to you; your entire world went upside down. Nothing was the same between the two of you. You feared for his life, he started showing his overprotective side. Especially after he literally saved you.

Walking toward your first class you hugged your books tightly to your chest trying not to cry. Trying not to get noticed by anyone, especially Peter. You loved him more than anything in the world. He made you comfortable especially after the other day's events. But when he left to go back home the effect wore off. All the anxiety came rushing back to you when first light hit your eyes.

"HEY!" you heard someone call, "HEY (Y/N)!" glancing behind you for a quick peek you see Peter. Involuntary you sped up almost at your first class. Rushing to your desk knowing he wouldn't follow you in because you didn't have first period together. Letting out a deep breath of relief.

Classes were a good distraction, until lunchtime came around and the horrible ritual of status quo started all over again. Slowly you walked into the cafeteria, intent on sitting on the floor. But MJ saw you before your butt could hit the cold floor.

"(Y/N)! Why aren't you over here already?" MJ waved you over to your usual table.

Reluctantly maneuvering between the tables you sit down with a slightly forced smile. Looking around the table you notice Peter isn't here yet, "Where's Peter?" you ask smile fading into sadness.

"I'm right here," Peter put his hand on your shoulder sitting down next to you.

A small smile crept onto your face as you felt his touch.

"What's going on?" Peter asked you.

"What do you mean?" you looked puzzled, "you know everything that's going on with me."

"Well you didn't let me walk with you to school, and when I tried to talk to you before first period you disappeared on me." he looked down on his food sadly.

"I'm sorry," you looked over at him, "I just had some questions I wanted to ask the teacher before class started." you lied.

"Oh, I understand," his face widened into a smile as he turned to you. "Always want to make sure I know what I want to know, ya know?"

"Uh, yeah," you just ruffled his hair in agreement.

"You are the cutest," Ned referring to your relationship with his chin in his hands looking like a puppy.

"It's all her," Peter said wrapping an arm around you squeezing you until you burped.

"Aw!" the whole table exclaimed making you blush.

Looking down at your food you picked up your sandwich and just ate it silently letting the people snicker about your love life. All of a sudden you felt a hand on your back. When you look over to Peter he was smiling the sweetest smile at you. Resting your head on his shoulder you allowed him to comfort you. It was the kind of love you were craving, none of that overprotective shit.

As school came to a close you walked out with Peter feeling bad that you wanted to be alone.

"How was your day?" he asked skipping along the sidewalk.

"Probably not as cheery as yours was," a monotone voice came out of your mouth.

"What's wrong?" Peter stopped.

A sigh left your lips as you stopped to talk, "I just wasn't having the best day." You said truthfully.

"Anything I can do to make it better?" he held out his arms waiting for you to join him in a hug.

"I don't know," you trailed off rubbing your foot up and down your calf. Peter cocked his head to the side wondering why you were shy all of the sudden. But he put his arms down and walked over to you taking your hand in his leading you down the rest of the sidewalk in a lovely silence.

When you get home you try to get Peter to leave but you have to study and need his brain.

"So what did you get for number four?" you ask cheek being crushed by your cold fingers, and your mouth open just enough that you start drooling.

"Can't you do your own homework?" Peter looked at you with a smirk.

"Not when I don't care about what I'm doing," you sigh.

"Oh well in that case I got twenty-five," he pointed at your paper.

"What? How?" you sat up straight, shocked.

"I did the math," he smiled at you.

"So did I," you crossed your arms in a huff, "I got twenty-six." You pouted.

"Don't pout," he reached out to touch your hand, "if it makes you feel better, in class today when the teacher called on me I didn't know the answer, so I guessed."

"Yeah, I bet you guessed correctly," you slouched.

"No actually I got it wrong," he giggled, "sometimes we just get things wrong until we get them right."

Silent tears started to roll down your cheeks making Peter's face change from happy to sad. "Are you okay? Did I do something?"

"Yes," you looked at him with a smile.

"Oh my gosh, do you want me to leave?" he frantically stood up and started gathering his things.

"No," you gently touched his arm, "I just like it when you're you. You're caring and give me advice," you stand up to join his antics, "but if you want to leave . . ." you shove the rest of his stuff in his hands before he can say anything and push him out of your bedroom. Before you closed you door Peter turned to you a baffled look spread all over his face. You just gave him a small wave goodbye, then started to close the door slowly watching his confused cuteness walk away. When you couldn't see him anymore you finally shut the door with a small thud turning to lean against the wood.

Sitting on the floor you just cried, a lot, about how horrible you felt. Eventually you moved to your bed and stuck your head in your pillow falling asleep dreaming about Peter, before you knew he was Spider-Man. All the anxiety in you always seemed to go away when he was around, yet at the same time you needed to process your feelings- alone.


	9. breathin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you have an anxiety/panic attack when you see peter/spider-man get hurt - originally posted on tumblr: september 30th, 2018

It was a casual day, just watching movies and trying to avoid the unavoidable. When out of nowhere you see your boyfriend swinging about outside. The strain on your heart started tightening as you continued to worry for his safety.

Going to your bedroom you snuggle under your bed sheets hoping the world would go away. But it made you more anxious, waiting for the inevitable. And despite your best wishes the inevitable happened anyway. Pretty soon you heard loud noises outside that could only indicate one thing. So you went to your window with your biggest pillow to your chest and watched.

Knowing he was fighting a battle so close to you gave a sense of hope the he wasn't going to be hurt. Except watching him fight and not just save you from a mugger were different.

"Honey," your father came into your room, "are you alright?"

"Yeah," you wiped your nose.

Setting down a cup of tea next to you he left the room quietly.

As you gazed out the window, your eyes heavy. But you knew you couldn't fall asleep. Knowing you wouldn't want to miss anything in case Peter got hurt. This act made you feel tension in your chest. All thoughts consumed you as your boyfriend worked his ass off. Then out of nowhere you see his red and blue suit coming straight for your room. Getting out of the way you jump on your bed breathing faster and faster as you anticipate Spider-Man's injury.

Crashing into your bedroom Spider-Man hit his head on impact. Window shattering a horrified look spread across your face as you gaze down onto your boyfriend, hoping and praying he wasn't dead.

The foe he was fighting came in behind him looking around the room. Resting his eyes on you a creepy smile spread across his face. Although you honestly couldn't tell if the villain was a man or a woman.

Peter was still on the floor, so you took it in your own hands to try and be as brave as him. Gently picking up a few big shards of glass you put them in your cup of tea. Planning on throwing the now deadly weapon at the villain stomping on your territory. Except you never had the chance for Peter woke up.

"You son of a bitch!" Spider-Man yelled in the villain's face.

"This is a fight is it not?" they shrugged.

"I don't fucking care! You are destroying peoples homes!"

"So," they moved closer to you making you extremely nervous, "that means I can take more hostages."those words made you start to hyperventilate.

Peter looked to you hand stretched out and said, "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you." sighing in relief you nodded taking a deep breath.

"He can't keep his promises," the villain laughed, "he can hardly defeat me."

That made Spider-Man even more angry than he already was. Webbing his way onto the ceiling, crawling over top of the evil doers head. Spidey dropped down onto their back strangling them until darkness comes over them.

"I WILL NEVER BOW TO YOU SPIDER-MAN!"

"I don't want you to bow to me, I just want you to stop terrorizing my neighborhood!" Spider-Man struggled with his enemy.

Taking this time to decipher if you should help Spider-Man. Deciding to finally toss your deadly tea at the villain. Making a small sound as to not hurt your beau, he looked up and saw the mug coming toward them and made unique moves so that the murderous villain was getting the blow.

"AH," the enemy yelled, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT! IT WAS HOT AND STABBY AT THE SAME TIME!"

"That, my friend," Spider-Man looked into the eyes of his foe, "was steaming hot tea." Then the spider continued to web up the limp body to carry it out of your room.

"Wait," you stopped Peter before he could swing off, "are you going to be alright?"

"I'll be fine, but you should watch your step," he lifted his mask and gave you a kiss on the cheek. It was at that moment you were proud for always keeping combat boots by your bed. Except now what? Your room was in shambles, you had no idea if your dad was unharmed and Peter was hurt. Not knowing how badly was killing you. The breath in your lungs started to seize. Your eyes got wide as the room spun around you almost falling onto the glass covered floor.

Before you could fall you heard your father, "(Y/N) ARE YOU IN THERE? ARE YOU INJURED?" he heaved, "I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET INTO YOUR ROOM THIS WHOLE TIME!"

"Oh my god dad!" you wiped your face from sweat and tears carefully walking over to your door.

Opening the door you saw your dad, uninjured and gave him the biggest hug.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, I never got the chance to drink my tea though," you started to cry.

"Honey what's the matter?" he rubbed your back.

"P-Spider-Man worked so hard to save me," you sniffled, "again," you mumbled.

"And you want to know if he's okay," your dad finished. Nodding and wiping your nose in reply.

Everything started to go dark as the thoughts in your head overwhelmed you. Suddenly you felt yourself being carried up and out somewhere new.

Waking up in a hospital bed you looked around the room feeling alone, feeling cold. Down at your hand you saw it developed in a larger hand. You only knew one hand it could be, your father's. He was asleep in a chair next to you.

"What happened," your throat croaked out.

"Huh, what?" he suddenly woke up.

"What happened?" you questioned.

"You had an anxiety attack," he sighed heavily, "I carried you to the hospital because I didn't know what was happening."

"Oh dad, I could've told you that," you squeezed his hand.

"You knew you were having attacks?" his worried expression made you start to tear up.

"Yes," you wiped your eyes, "it's slowly been getting worse since I almost got mugged a few weeks ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"At first it was just anxiety. But then one day my chest started getting tight and the room started spinning. I knew what was happening so I thought of a comforting place to help calm me down, I counted slowly trying to take my mind off the situation. Stuff like that. Except they keep getting worse." you started to breath fast.

"Why didn't you tell me you almost got mugged?" he shook.

"Spider-Man prevented it. So I didn't think it was necessary," you said truthfully.

"Oh sweetie, you alway tell me something like that," he caressed your hair.

"I was just trying to be as brave as mama," your breathing hitched.

"Being brave can include asking for help and coming forward when in need," he leaned in to give you a hug.

Just as the doctor came in, you started to wonder if Peter was okay.

"Well I think you can go back home (Y/N)," the doctor smiled at you.

"Really?" you said almost enthusiastic.

"Yup," she said looking down at her clipboard, "but I recommend if you feel comfortable you see a therapist."

"Why?" you looked puzzled.

"Well, I can't diagnose you with why you had your panic attack," the doctor sat down next to you, "but a therapist who knows more about this than I do might be able to help you through your stress."

"I see," you sighed.

When you walked into your apartment back from the hospital you fell onto the couch face first. Unhappy you groaned into a pillow.

"Honey I think it's a good idea for you to see a therapist," your father said closing the door.

"I know it's just, I think I already know how to relax," you sat up and sighed.

"You mean other than fixing your room," he sat down next to you.

"Yes dad other than fixing my room," you huffed out.

"I'm sorry am I making you feel anxious and stressed?"

"Little bit," you faked a smile, raised your eyebrows and got up off the couch heading toward you smashed room.

Opening the door you see Peter in his suit crawling around on the ceiling.

"Can I help you?" you crossed your arms.

"(Y/N), oh my god. Are you okay? I'm sorry your room is in ruins," he rushed over to you.

"Be careful!" you yelled.

"It's alright, it's alright I have shoe-like things built into the suit," he said rubbing your arms.

"Oh thank god," you breathed heavily into his face.

"So," Peter widened his eyes, "how are you? Are you hurt?"

"No, are you?"

"A scratch here and there but nothing I can't handle," he smiled.

"You're so strong Peter," you start crying and shaking.

Peter kept rubbing your arms in comfort keeping you from freaking out. You wrap your arms around him in a hug. Sobbing into his chest.

"Hey, hey, hey," he backed away from you to make eye contact. "Don't you dare spend your time worrying about me!"

"I'm sorry," you sniffled, "you're my boyfriend and I love you. I will care if you die."

"I know, I love you so much. That's why it kills me when my battles keep finding their way to you," he caressed your cheek.

Breathing suddenly became harder as you thought about if this happened again.

"Oh my god, (Y/N)! **Just keep breathin** ," Peter said holding you close, " **just keep breathin**."

Coming back to life you repeated along with Peter, " **Just keep breathin** , keep breathin, keep breathin."

"What just happened?" Peter sounded worried.

"Oh that, that was just a panic attack," you brushed off, "a lot shorter than my last one thanks to you." you gave him a hug.

"Last one?" he scratched his head.

"Come on, I'll tell you all about it," you nodded towards the living area.

"Um, can I change first?"

"If you insist." walking out to the living area you waited for him to join you.

Joining you, you talked into the night about how you had been feeling. Peter had been more than supportive and concerned at the same time. Telling you it was all right if you just needed a break. You found your therapist. But your therapist was your friend, not your boyfriend. How on Earth were you going to tell him? You loved him so much, both ways.


	10. get well soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter visits you at home with a get well soon balloon - originally posted on tumblr: october 2nd, 2018

At school alone for the first time in months Peter got questioned over and over about where his girlfriend was. If she was sick, when was she coming back? To be perfectly honest he had no idea when she was coming back he just wanted her to feel better. Wanted her to feel like her bright perky self again.

Going through the motions didn't feel the same. When Peter got to lunch not sitting next to her made him feel so empty.

"Hey, hey, Parker!" MJ snapped, "you there?"

"Obviously," Peter rolled his eyes.

"Well you just kinda zoned out for a bit that's all," Ned said worried.

"Oh, it happens," Peter took a bite of his sandwich, "I was just thinking about a new experiment I wanted to try after school."

"Sure, that's what you were thinking about," MJ teased.

Peter's cheeks started to blush as he started to think about (Y/N), a goofy smile on his face.

"Where is (Y/N) anyway?" Ned asked straight to the point.

"Oh she hasn't been feeling well. I imagine she should be back in the next couple days," Peter said not revealing too much of the truth.

"Oh is she sick?" MJ and Ned say simultaneously.

"Uh, sure," he said uncertain of what to say.

"Do you not know if she's sick?" MJ looked puzzled.

"Or is she just ditching school and your upholding her honor? It's okay, you can tell us," Ned said.

"No, she's definitely not feeling well. She just didn't tell me what she came down with," Peter forced a smile.

"Oh it must be serious," MJ rubbed her chin thinking.

"Or she just wants to keep it private," Peter pointed out.

"Either way you should gift her a get well soon balloon," Ned said thoughtfully.

"That's a great idea Ned, I'll drop it off after school," he finished his sandwich.

"Can we come with?" They asked.

"Um, I don't know?" Peter truthfully asked getting up from the table, "to be safe I'll just go for all three of us."

Leaving from the cafeteria and school altogether to visit you, Peter stopped by a store to pick up a balloon to give you.

Knocking on the door to her apartment Peter waited for you to answer. Opening the door slowly a smile grew when you saw who it was.

"Peter," you hugged him, "don't you have school right now?"

"Yeah, I ditched the rest of my classes," Peter smiled.

"Why?" you walked over to the couch sitting next to each other.

"I had to give you this," Peter handed you a balloon that said 'get well soon'.

"You didn't have to do this you know," you giggled.

"I know, everybody wanted to let you know they hoped you felt better soon. Ned suggested getting you a balloon so," Peter rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"So you thought you'd ditch the rest of the day and deliver one to me," you gave him another hug.

"Basically," he squeezed the life out of you.

"Well thank you," removing yourself from the hug, "it really cheered me up." you smiled.

Peter brought you into his side kissing your temple. Sitting together in the middle of your couch made you feel normal. Like how it was before Peter was Spider-Man, or at least before you knew.

"I'm glad it made you feel better," Peter got up grabbing his backpack.

"Where are you going?" you looked confused.

"I don't know, never ditched school before," he shrugged.

"Well we could watch movies for the rest of the day," you suggested.

"Yeah," Peter shuffled back to the couch, "okay."

For the rest of the day you and Peter watched old movies and ate junk food. He made you laugh while the movies sometimes made you cry. It felt good to feel good and relaxed as he did nothing with you. But as the day came to a close you became sad.

"Hey," Peter said walking toward the door, "don't be sad, call me on the phone anytime you need me." he looked you deadly serious in the eyes.

"Anytime?" you repeated.

"Anytime." he kissed your forehead.

"Alright," you smiled.

You watched Peter leave until you couldn't see him anymore.

The next day Peter went to school, alone, again. But he figured you wouldn't be back at school for another couple days. Except today while he was in third period he got a call, from you.

"(Y/N) what's wrong?" Peter said taking the call out in the hall.

_"I think it just happened again," you said in hysterics._

"What do you mean?" Peter sounded worried already on his way to your apartment.

_"I mean I think i just had an attack. But I'm not sure," you tried to calm your breathing._

"Okay, tell me what happened," Peter said soothing.

_"All I know is one minute I was reading a book and the next minute, it's an hour later!" you start to freak out._

"Could you have just fallen asleep?" He asked sweetly.

_"Possibly?"_

"I'm coming over anyway," Peter said determined.

_"You don't have to do that!" you insisted but you low key wished he would insist harder._

"Oh no, I'm coming over just to make sure your okay," Peter hung up.

Oh okay, you thought, smiling to yourself. Knowing Peter could make you feel better. Deep down you knew calling him anytime you needed was short term because this was your problem, not his. You have to find a solution that doesn't involve relying on other people. But for now, it worked just fine considering the capacity of your 'freak outs'.

Racing up to your door and knocking ferociously Peter caught his breath while waiting for you to let him in.

"Coming," you said right as you got to the door. Opening the door you said, "Thank God!" you hugged him with tears in your eyes.

"It's alright, I'm here now," Peter rubbed your back.

"I know, I am so grateful," you looked up at him through watery eyes.

Standing in your doorway you just held each other. Silent crying the only thing filling your soul. As soon as you felt comfortable you let go of Peter and let him into your apartment, closing the door behind you.

"What happened? How are you feeling?" Peter questioned on his way to the couch.

"Well, I was reading a book," you started.

"Was it a depressing book?" he asked.

"No actually, it wasn't. But it made a point that got me thinking, about how down my life has been lately. And I think it's because," you stopped because you weren't ready to rip off the band-aid.

"You think it's because of.... what?" Peter repeated.

"I ultimately just think that **my life is so controlled by the what-ifs**. And when Spider-Man also happens to be my boyfriend Peter Parker there are a lot of what-ifs." you poured out.

"So I'm the one who makes you feel this way?" Peter looked sad.

"No, you make me so happy," you smiled and held his hands, "it's just ever since I found out your other identity, I've been wishing it wasn't you out there. Because I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to die." you sob.

"(Y/N), I'm sorry I didn't mean to become Spider-Man. But now that I am the spider I can't exactly stop," Peter looked into your eyes.

"I don't want you to stop. I love that you are a superhero, I just hate the possible consequences," loud tears ran down your cheeks.

" **I'm with you** , I will always be with you. You don't have to worry," Peter put his hand on your cheek going in for a kiss, you turned away.

"I know," you stood up, "I know." you had to tell him.


	11. better off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you officially break up with peter - originally posted on tumblr: october 5th, 2018

Standing with your back to Peter you exhaled a breath you didn't even realize you were holding in. Nervous about what you had to say. Wanting to stall as long as possible but knowing it would hurt you more as time went on. You blurted out what you had been thinking for days.

"I think we need to break up," you covered your mouth wanting to take it back. A single tear rolling down your cheek.

"What, Why?" Peter slouched back into the couch.

"I love you so much Peter," you turned to face him, "and that's why I have to let you go. I have to be alone and deal with my feelings by myself or I'll never get past this. I know that I will always have anxiety, but I can work on not having as many panic attacks." you wiped the tears from your red, puffy face.

"I understand. I want you to get better," he stood up off your couch, "if this is the only way, at least we are still friends."

"Always," you sniffed.

Peter shifted his stance as if now he didn't know how to be around you. Leaning down to pick up his backpack Peter didn't look sad, more understanding. He started walking towards the door but you didn't know why.

"Where are you going?" you asked reaching out your hand.

Shaking his head slowly, "Back to school I guess, why?"

"It's just," you sighed putting your arm down, "I really do need my friend right now."

Glancing at you Peter thought about it. But seeing how hard that was for you to do spread all over you face he ultimately decided to stay. You sat back on the couch and avoided the break up by watching movies. Of course after Peter left, you blasted your sad songs at one-hundred percent. But you could tell that you were already feeling better. Not about breaking up with Peter, just in general. Like the invisible weights on your shoulders had been lifted.

The next day at school you showed up, not in the brightest spirits but confident that you weren't going to have another attack. You walked to school alone figuring Peter wanted to give you space. Which you appreciated but it made for a lonely day.

Going into the large building you were welcomed by your friends, except Peter.

"(Y/N) Peter texted us last night saying he had a suspicion that you'd be back today," MJ hugged you a wide smile on her face.

"Oh he did, did he?" you asked rhetorically.

"Yes, he did," MJ answered, "I was honestly surprised to see you though. Considering how private he has been about this whole situation, I mean you were just sick for a couple days." she put her hands on her hips.

"Uh, yeah, I was just sick," laughing nervously, you knew you could tell MJ anything but you weren't ready to tell her this. Especially not after having to break up with Peter.

"Where is Peter anyway?" Ned questioned out of the blue.

"I don't know he didn't walk with me this morning," you looked at Ned puzzled.

"That's not like him," MJ stated, "sure he might ditch now, but to just blatantly miss school. That's not Parker."

All you could think is that you hoped he wasn't missing school just because of you. As your friends pushed you forward you looked back at the door hoping that any second Peter would burst through the doors. But he never did.

You made it through most of your classes without wanting to cry. But once lunch came around and you sat at your usual table without Peter next to you. Everything came pouring out. Your friends looked worried and confused. Except you were just happy you could get your emotions out without having an attack blocking you.

"Hey," MJ reached out, "are you feeling okay?"

"NO!" you bursted.

"What's wrong?" she continued.

"I just really wish Peter was here to say it with me," you wiped your face and left the cafeteria in a rush.

"Did you know they were having problems?" Ned said mid sandwich.

"I don't think that's it at all,"MJ sighed.

Running up to Peter's apartment you knocked on the door out of breath.

"Hello?" Peter questioned with pop tart in his mouth.

"Look what you made me do Parker," you walked in, "you made me ditch."

"I guess we're both delinquents now," Peter closed the door walking over to you.

"Why didn't you come to school?" you looked at him pleading.

"I just," he paused, "I just, after all that has happened I was afraid," he looked away from you stopping mid sentence not knowing how to continue.

"You don't have to be afraid, I know we broke up but we are friends first. Also, hey, if you need to get out any emotions you have you know you can come to me of all people. You don't need to pretend to be sick to get out of facing your fears, that's not the Peter Parker I know and that's certainly not something Spider-Man would approve of." you finished you speech consuming Peter in a warm hug.

"I know that," he backed out of the hug, sitting on the couch finishing his pop tart.

"Then what's wrong?" you sat next to him.

"Honestly, I'm still high from last night," he looked ashamed.

"Oh, so now your doing drugs without me?" you tried to lighten the mood.

Peter was distraught, with his head in his hands he just didn't know how to face anyone. After yesterday the only thing he wanted to do was hide and bury his feelings. But after everything you had shared with him he knew that wasn't the right thing to do.

"I guess so," he glanced at you through his fingers.

"You know I'm always here if ya wanna get wasted bro," you patted him on the back.

"But I wasn't doing it just to get high," he sighed, "I was trying to forget my feelings."

"Peter," you locked eyes with him, "that's not what drugs are for," you said very seriously. As he started to laugh. But your face just stayed the same.

"Oh, oh you're serious," he stopped laughing.

"Yes I am serious, drugs are to make you feel good it's true. But they can become addictive which is why you never want to use them to forget."

"Why's that?" Peter looked content to listen to you.

"You don't want to use them to forget because you don't forget. And then that makes you want to try again and again. Soon it becomes a habit. Then your a -" Peter interrupted you.

"I get it." he looked to the floor.

"You do?" you tried to look in his eyes.

"Yeah," he sighed, "I don't want that to be me. Or anyone, it's just, really hard."

"I know," you leaned back. "If you wanna talk or do drugs or anything of that nature, you know who to call."

"I know," he looked over at you with his usual sweet smile plastered all over his face.

You got up off the couch saying, "Anyway, I should get going."

"So you don't want to smoke weed with me?"

"Did we not just go over this?" you looked back at him shaking your head.

"We did. I just thought that we were also delinquents," Peter pointed out with a smug smirk on his face.

"No Peter. As much as I want my head in the clouds it's not a good idea. You better not get into the habit," you scolded.

"So....... your saying I'm better off," he talked with his hands.

"Yes. And so am I," you stormed out of his apartment slightly annoyed at him. You prayed from the bottom of your heart that this wasn't going to be a problem. But knowing Peter he was annoying you on purpose and everything was going to be fine, right?


	12. interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you haven't seen peter in weeks until you have a dream about him - originally posted on tumblr: october 9th, 2018

Even though you and Peter were doing better you hadn't actually seen him in weeks. This is what happens when you want to confront feelings and avoid them all at the same time. He was a crime fighting spider and you were a teenager trying to get through the rest of high school.

You had stayed up late the night before getting ready for tests you had the next day. Except now that you were actually at school you didn't think that was such a good idea. As you slouched your way to first period you didn't care if you just sat in the back to catch up on some z's. The first test of your day didn't start until third period, you had time.

Dozing off a specific curly haired boy entered your mind.

_"You ready to go?" Peter asked licking his lips._

_"Of course," you took his hand walking out the door._

_Peter escorted you to the school dance. He looked like a fine specimen in his suit and tie. You couldn't take your eyes off of him as his warm hands led you through the gym doors to the cheesy dance theme. Everyone had their eyes on you, you and Peter were the cutest couple. He kept insisting it was because you were the most exquisite girl there but you knew the truth._

_"No Peter," you giggled with a rose blush on your cheeks, "I swear it's because we are the cutest couple!"_

_"But you are so beautiful!" he spun you around. Showing you off to everyone possible._

_Giggling as he twirled you around you started to feel dizzy. "OMG. Stop," you laughed and Peter spun you one last time into his arms._

_"You okay love?" he longingly looked you in the eye._

_"Yeah," you smiled up at him, "just a little dizzy from all your twirling."_

"Does she know she talks in her sleep?" Betty whispered.

"Stop Peter, I'm dizzy," you mumbled under your breath.

"I don't think so," Gwen stated eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I thought they broke up?"

"They did," Betty continued to whisper as she looked back at you.

"Peter," you snuggled into your arms.

"Maybe she still ha fe-" you didn't hear the rest of the sentence for you fell back to sleep.

_Dancing together you took in his features and how the different colors from the lights radiated off his skin. Handsome wasn't the word you would use to describe Peter. He was magical, almost like he shouldn't exist. Strong and safe was how you felt everytime you were in his arms. Nothing could break you, nothing at all. That's how you wanted it to be at least._

_Suddenly swift, Peter took you away from the dance floor to someplace romantic. Giggling down the hallway wondering where on Earth he was taking you. Peter soon stopped at the doorway to the roof._

_"Oh Peter," you gasped._

_"What?" he let out a soft chuckle, "You don't want to dance under real stars?"_

_"That's not it," you smiled at him cheeks slightly hot, "I would go anywhere with you Peter Parker." You reached on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek._

_Touching his warm cheek Peter looked down at you with a crooked smile. Jolting up the stairs with you he stopped just as quickly as he started. Reaching the roof you looked in awe at how bright the stars shown through the pollution._

_"What did you do Parker?" you asked letting go of his hand._

_"I may have......" he trailed off, "made my own stars."_

_"You did what?" you turned around shocked. But not surprised, he was a genius after all._

_"I, uh, made stars for you?" he questioned as if what he did was wrong._

_"Peter," you ran to him, "that's amazing and wonderful and...." you kissed him because that was the only thing that seemed right. Tugging at his curls he leaned into the physically shocking kiss. With passion he pulled you closer into his arms leaving no room for escape. As soon as you were about to make things more interesting you heard your name being called._

_"(Y/N), (Y/N) are you up there?" you thought it was your father's voice but that was impossible. He was at home, right? "(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N) . . ." it faded out slowly as you opened your eyes._

Seeing Betty and Gwen shaking you awake trying to get you up for next period, "(Y/N) it's time for our next class," Betty said as Gwen continued to shake you to make sure you stayed awake.

"Okay, okay," you said groggily gathering your things and leaving the classroom with your friends.

"So," Gwen said making a look towards Betty.

"Did you have a good dream?" Gwen continued.

"I guess so, why?" you raised an eyebrow at them.

"It's just that," Betty was totally nervous, "you kinda....." she trailed off.

"You talk in your sleep," Gwen finished.

"Oh I do," you hid your blushing cheeks behind your books.

"Just a little bit," Gwen squinted as she made an example of how little with her fingers.

"I'm just so tired from studying for these tests."

"We all are," Betty put a hand on your shoulder in comfort, "but we don't dream about our exes." she finished abruptly.

"BETTY!" Gwen sounded shocked, "That's a terrible thing to say."

"No," you squeaked, "It's alright. I'm just as confused as you are." stopping in the middle of the hall with their attention. "I knew I still had feelings for Peter when I broke up with him, but I didn't think I would be having any dreams about him. I guess that's what happens when my heart doesn't feel like it's over."

"Then why did you break up with Peter?" Betty asked curiously.

"I just needed time to myself to work out some personal things. Peter agreed, so we went different ways." you almost started to cry thinking about everything that happened all those weeks ago.

"But there is no chance you will get back together?" Betty asked another question out of curiosity.

"I don't know? Only time will be able to tell that," you gave a small smile and walked away to your next class secretly hoping to continue your dream.

Sitting in the back of the class again you put your head down on the desk preparing for all the trouble.

_"What was that about?" Peter asked when you got back on the roof of the school._

_"Oh it was nothing," you brushed off his question, "Where were we?" you stepped closer to him._

_"I believe, we were stargazing," Peter took your hand in his continuing the romantic ritual._

_"I don't know," you looked down at your feet, "I'm pretty sure we were doing something else."_

_"Oh, you mean this," he took hold of your body in a tight grip. Leaning his head down to reach your lips. You moved your hands to his hair ready to tug at his perfect curls. Eventually Peter laid a wet needy kiss on your lips. It was like he missed you too. But how could he know what you were dreaming about?_

"Does she know she drools?" some asshole said.

"Everyone drools dumbass," MJ hit him over the head.

_Peter moved his lips down your neck leaving little love bites along the way. As things heated up between the two of you. You wanted nothing more than to get deeper under his skin. In no hurry you took off his jacket making the moment last as long as possible._

_Going for his tie Peter stopped you, "Not the tie." he left your skin, "worked to hard to properly put this thing on." he blushed at the touch of your hands._

_"Alright," you gave his nose a peck._

_Unbuttoning his shirt your hands start to shake. What were you doing? You were totally not ready for this!_

_"I-I'm sorry Peter," you blushed buttoning his shirt back up. "I'm just not ready."_

_"You don't have to be sorry. I understand," he held your shaking hands to his heart, "besides I wouldn't want my first time to be outside in the cold." he gave you a little wink._

_"_ **_You're such a dream to me_ ** _," you brought him down to you kissing him once more._

Abruptly waking up, you wiped the drool from your mouth making a few heads turn. But all you could think was 'shit.'


	13. everytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awkward dreams make you realize you can't just say goodbye - originally posted on tumblr: october 13th, 2018

You felt so awkward after your dreams about Peter. You didn't know how you were gonna come clean. But you knew you had to tell him. It wouldn't be right if you didn't except, this would be your first time talking to him since you caught him eating a pop tart, while still high.

You needed him in your life. Not necessarily as a boyfriend but at least for support and guidance. Although he has been fully m.i.a since your break-up. Saying he had work to do for Tony Stark, which you knew meant he was doing Spider-Man stuff. Honestly it was a stupid excuse even though you knew it was true.

Coming home from school you tried texting him but you knew he wasn't going to answer. He hasn't answered a text in weeks. So you decided you were going to try the old fashioned way, calling.

***Ring, Ring***

***Ring, Ring***

_"Hello?" you heard from the other side._

"Hi, I'm trying to get in touch with Peter," you said nervously.

_"Oh, is he avoiding you?"_

"A little bit," you cautiously let a giggle slip from your lips.

_"Just a second, I'll get him for you," the voice said before it went quiet._

Waiting a minute for someone to pick up the phone again you started to get anxious. Would he want to talk to you?

_"Yes," a commanding voice said, "how did you know Peter was here?"_

"Um....... he told me?" you questioned yourself.

_"Well I'm sorry he is out at the moment. Can I leave a message? Or do you want to come over and talk to him in person?" you could hear the smirk over the phone._

You stopped breathing. Going to see him in person hadn't even crossed your mind. Peter never told you where he was going just told you what he was doing, so he gave you a phone number for when you wanted to talk. Except you never used it because you didn't want him to think you were needy. This is what you get the one time you wanted to check in, and confess.

"Sure," you stuttered.

_"What was that?"_

"Sure, I would love to see Peter in person. It's been a while," you tried again. This time more confident.

_"Great! I'll send a car to your address at once," you heard the click of the phone hanging up._

'But how do you know my address?' you mumbled phone still to your ear.

As you waited for the car to come pick you up you did a little reading. Okay, you did no reading your brain was on high alert. Seeing Peter for the first time in weeks made you so nervous. Most people get nervous seeing their ex out in public for the first time since there break up. But you had already seen Peter after the break up and established that you were okay only for him to disappear. So needless to say you were a little nervous.

A soft knock woke you from your thoughts. Gathering a few of your things, walking to the door you froze for a second wondering if you were making a mistake. Pushing that thought out of your mind long enough to open the door and walk down to the car with someone named Happy; who oddly enough wasn't very happy.

"So," Happy started once the car was moving towards your destination, "Why is young Peter ignoring you?"

"I don't know," you sighed.

"Hmm," he thought. "I know he's been busy but yesterday he was doing nothing so this is curious business."

"He was doing nothing yesterday!" you repeated out of shock.

"Yeah and today he is helping Tony in the lab with his suit."

"Which suit?" you crossed your arms in curiosity.

" Uh," Happy stopped at a red light dumbfounded by your question.

"I know Peter is Spider-Man if that helps your answer," you smirked.

"Oh thank god!" Happy let out a breath, "I thought you were reading my mind or something. They are working on his spider suit. It got some serious damage in a fight the other day...."

"Can't Tony Stark fix it himself?" you interrupted.

"Peter insisted on helping. Even with his wounds."

"Did he get badly injured?" you started to sound worried.

"No, but they were bad enough that Tony was hesitant to let him help," Happy finished.

"Oh," you looked down at the carpeted flooring in distraught.

"Hey," Happy grabbed your attention, "it will be okay. I'm pretty sure Peter is going to be excited to see you."

"But I'm not so sure," you mumbled under your breath.

Pulling up to a big building your jaw dropped. How was Peter able to keep calm? You knew he was probably asking a ton of questions when he first arrived, like how do you go to the bathroom when all the walls are glass windows? Do you not care about your privacy? Do you not care about your safety? You would think that superheroes would take their own safety into account, that's a big NOPE!

Walking into the building was even more impressive. Practically the whole facility was operated by technology, which kinda scared you. I mean what if it decided to take over the world? But you pushed that thought out of your head . . . for now.

"(Y/N)," Tony Stark walked up to you greeting you with a warm smile and a hand shake.

"Hi, how do you know my name?" you glared at him speculatively.

"The same way I know your address sweetheart, I'm Tony Stark."

Confidence exuded from Tony Stark the same way your hands started to sweat nervously at his touch. As you came out of the hand shake you remembered why you were there and asked, "Where's Peter?"

"Oh, we decided not to tell him of your arrival. Make it, a surprise," Tony talked with his hands as he guided you through the building.

"I see," you sighed rubbing the goosebumps on your arms away.

"Are you not excited to see him?" Tony asked.

"That's not it." you continued to sigh, "I just don't know how he's going to react to my presence."

"Honey don't worry about it, if I know Peter he is going to be ecstatic to see a familiar face. Especially yours," Tony opened the door for you to go in.

"If you say so," you spoke softly trying not to be heard but Tony rolled his eyes at you anyway.

"PETER! OH PETER!" Tony sung trying to get the boy to come and see what was needed.

"WHAT?" you heard him yell from somewhere on the other side of the very large room.

"I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!"

"I'M BUSY! LEAVE IT ON THE TABLE!" Peter sighed loudly.

"IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF SURPRISE KID!" Tony started to get annoyed.

"OKAY OKAY I'M COMING!"

"Alright sweetheart," Tony looked you in the eye, "stand behind me and try to stay as still as possible until I give you the signal."

"What's the signal?" you looked terrified.

"You'll know it when you hear it."

"Sure I will," you sassed as you literally stood in the shadow of Tony Stark.

"What's my surprise Mr. Stark?" Peter asked with annoyance in his voice as he came into view.

"What do you want it to be?" Tony answered with a question.

"Ice cream. I've been working my ass off and deserve something sweet."

You almost blew your cover by letting out a small giggle but Tony Stark came to your rescue.

"Ha, ha, ha, that's funny. You're funny kid. But no, that's not it at all." he crossed his arms over his chest looking serious, "Two more guesses."

"WHAT?" Peter's face lit up with shock, "I didn't know we were playing that game."

"I always play this game with you and you never remember," his gaze moved with Peter's pacing.

"You're gonna let me use the Iron Man suit?" Peter's eyebrows went up in hope.

Taking a big breath Tony let out a deep, "No."

"Worth a shot," Peter sighed sitting in a chair across from you, "Is my surprise," he paused, "(Y/N)?" he sighed out of sadness.

Eyes going wide, body not able to move, you just heard the signal. When you didn't move first Tony moved out from in front of you. But Peter had his head in his hands. He didn't look up to see your frozen state. Tony and Happy just looked at each other like 'oh we have to do something about this'.

You should have spoken up. But you couldn't get past the fact that he just said what you were going to say 'Peter, I miss you. My dreams tell me so, I don't know if I want to get back together but I hate this radio silence. Talk to me Parker?' And he said all of that in one bloody word.

"Peter?" Tony shook the moveless being on the chair, "Peter?"

"What?" he grumbled.

"Someone is here to see you," Tony got through to him.

"Is it Aunt May?" a small smile played at his lips.

"No," Tony rolled his eyes exasperated, "I think you'll like this girl's company a little better." Tony winked.

Looking confused Peter looked up to see you. Only to have his face turn sad again, "We broke up Mr. Stark."

"I know." Tony rubbed Peter's back in comfort, "But you're still friends. You will always be friends, You told me that yourself all those months ago when we first met."

"I did didn't I," Peter smiled again.

Your face softened with his voice. Relaxing into the familiarity of your friend. Finally moving to sit next to him you replaced Tony's hand on Peter's back in comfort.

"Do you think we will ever go back to normal?" he sighed looking over his shoulder for Tony.

"I don't know?" you scared him, "maybe." you gave him a warm smile.

"What are you doing here?" Peter enthralled you in a hug.

"I came to see you. You silly goose," you poked his nose playfully.

Rubbing his nose trying to stop the tickle he said, "you didn't have to do that. You could have called."

"I did," you looked sad.

"Oh," he looked down at his empty hands, "I guess you came over because I didn't pick up huh?"

"Yeah," you slipped your hand in his.

"I've been doing that a lot recently. Mostly to Aunt May and you know how she worries," he chuckled.

"I do," you smiled at his laugh.

"So, what brings you here on this fine day?" he shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

Cheeks heating up in nervous forgetfulness you almost forgot why you wanted to talk to him. And after everything he just said, it's a little embarrassing. "Oh you don't want to know why I'm here," you brushed off, "I wanna hear more about your weeks spent here. How are you doing? I heard you got injured, are you feeling okay?" you rambled on for what felt like hours and no one stopped you.

"Um... okay." Peter didn't look convinced, "It started out as any regular mission. . ." he proceeded to tell his story as you listened intently. Some details he gave made you cringe. But you were so wrapped up in him that all time seemed to stop. "And that's how I got hurt. So why did you come over?"

"My poor baby," you pushed his hair back in affection avoiding his question.

"(Y/N)," Peter stared at you trying to make you confess, "stop stalling."

"Okay okay!" you gave into his gaze, "I-I had a dream about you," you blushed.

"WHAT!?!" Peter shouted.

"Calm down Parker," you sat back slightly scared how he was going to react next. "It made me realize that I just need you in my life. I don't care if were friends or boyfriend and girlfriend. I just need your stupid genius self with me."

Peter was quiet. He just looked at you for a while, probably contemplating what you said. The room was motionless except for when you would twitch out of nervousness. You were giving up and about to leave when Peter finally spoke up.

"(Y/N), I have been feeling the same way," he took your hands in his, "I need my rock in my life. I'm a mess without you."

" **I've tried to fight our energy** ," you blushed into him, "but it's impossible when your so perfect for me."

"Oh so you think i'm perfect?" Peter smirked.

"Um, ya know," your blush grew darker, "w-when your not being a dick."

Peter burst into a fit of laughter. Making you smile at how quickly things went back to the old ways. You and Peter truly were friends till the end.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked calming down into a nice smile.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," you replied.

From the corner of your eye you saw Happy and Tony fist bumping in success. But they had little to no part in bringing you two together. Except for the car ride over.


	14. God is a woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coming across peter changing into his spider suit you chastise him for being naked in public - originally posted on tumblr: october 17th, 2018

Walking down the street one day you thought you saw a boy getting undressed in an ally. Just as you rubbed your eyes and were about to brush it off; a familiar voice echoed off the brick.

"Goddamnit!" the voice said frustrated.

"Peter? Peter, is that you?" you walked down the alley hoping you weren't wrong.

"What is it?" the voice grunted.

"Are you okay? Why are you in this ally?" you shook still not having seen any sign of Peter.

"Yeah I'm fine." Spider-Man came down from a web scaring the shit out of you.

"Holy guacamole Peter you scared me!" you held your heart dramatically.

"Sorry love," he got down from the sticky substance landing in front of you.

Blushing at his close vicinity. The pet name that he only started calling you since you started dating was only the cherry on top. Peter took your hands in his not letting you move a muscle.

Coming out of shock you looked at him irritated, "PETER PARKER! WHAT WOULD AUNT MAY SAY IF SHE KNEW YOU FUCKING STRIPPED IN AN ALLEY!" you put your hands on your hips in protest.

Peter was speechless. Taking off his mask to look you in the eye. His strong gaze mesmerized you, almost saying 'How dare you bring her into this conversation that just started!' You were just dumbfounded at his reaction he knew it was true. Waiting for him to fully acknowledge the situation you rolled your eyes in annoyance, sighing at how stubborn he was being.

"Be quiet," Peter put his hands over your mouth, "You'll blow my cover."

"What cover?" you sighed again, "it's not like dressing in a red and blue suit swinging around town is exactly 'stealthy'" you pestered him.

"You are a sassy bitch you know that," he took his hands away from your mouth.

"But you love me enough to not let me suffocate," you smiled cocking your head to the side sarcastically.

"You little shit," Peter bounced on you hands going to cover your mouth again. You dodged his attack leaving him to fall on the ground completely. That didn't leave for a very happy spider. "HEY!" he stood back up meeting your hands at his mouth.

"We wouldn't want your cover to be blown now, would we?" you smirked.

He raised his hand to protest but he knew you were right, only because he knew he was right. So instead he glared at you waiting for you to give in and put your arm down. When it took you to long for his attention span to put it down he bit your hand causing you to yelp in pain. "HA!" Peter pointed at you laughing.

"Yeah. So mature Parker," you sighed evaluating the bite mark on your hand.

Inching closer to you Peter looked at you with despise written all over his face. "Yeah, well, you need to grow up!"

"Mmhmm nice burn Parker? Who told you that one, Flash?" you purposely dug under his skin because he literally dug under yours.

"That's not nice," he frowned.

Realizing what you had done at the sight of his sad eyes; you touch his cheek trying to take away the venom from the words you just spat at him. "I'm sorry Peter. I wasn't thinking, I'm just pissed off because you bit my fucking hand and it still hurts like hell because you're bloody Spider-Man." you finished softly.

He looked into your eyes evaluating if your genuine. "I am so sorry about that," he sighed taking your hand in his, putting it up to his lips. Peter kissed it making all the pain go away.

Lingering in that position where your eyes are locked together, his soft lips won't move from your hand. Instantly you are transported to any princess story. Your prince more of a Robin Hood but that was better..... what were you thinking? Peter was just your friend, a really good friend......

All of a sudden you felt his mouth moving up your arm. Gasping for air struggling to remove your arm from his really, strong, grip. Finally speaking, "Peter!"

"What?" he looked you in the eye not removing his mouth from your arm.

"What the fuck? Are you doing?" your petrified voice carried.

Stepping back Peter stopped blushing. Embarrassed he softly spoke, "I'm sorry, again," he rubbed the back of his neck blush intensifying, "I got carried away. You are just so beautiful. And for a moment I guess I forgot that-"

You interrupted him with a kiss. Both of your hands on his cheeks not caring about any of the consequences. Knowing you were broken up honestly didn't cross your mind in that moment. Peter snaked his arms around your waist pulling you closer to him. Being lost in one another felt so good. Roaming through his hair with your fingertips was like a fluffy heaven.

Pulling away for air you look into his dark eyes. Peter looked hungry, hungry for love. But was this the love he wanted? Love that was old even if it was still there?

"I am so sorry," you blushed pushing off of him.

"We keep saying those words to each other and I don't think either one of us means them one bit," Peter tightened his grip on you protectively.

"You might be right. But you obviously have somewhere to go," you lick your swollen lips.

Peter noticed this and mimicked your actions, "I don't really want to go anymore."

"But what if someone needs your help?" your chest tightened as you tried to push off his once more.

"Right now I can only see one person who really needs me," Peter's gaze softened into your eyes. Melting back into his arms you hugged the hero. Planting a kiss on your head Peter breathed an, "I love you," into your skull.

"I love you." you said flatly yet with so much truth.

Looking up at his face studying his happy features you blurted out, "Can we leave this stinky alley now?"

Laughing at how cute you are Peter squeaks out, "Yeah, yeah let's go," in between breaths. Pulling his mask on he pulled you into his side and webbed up to the rooftop. "Is this better?"

"I guess so," you giggled.

"Now," he started.

"No, now it's time for you to go save the people of this city," you crossed your arms in protest not wanting to hear his excuse.

"But," he held out his hand dramatically wanting to be with you, "you need protection."

"Yeah, from you," you giggled again.

"Hey!" he huffed, "I'm not dangerous," he mumbled crossing his arms and being a baby.

"Oh honey," you put a hand on his shoulder, "I never said you were dangerous. But if I ever want to get some food I have got to get away from you!" you smiled lightly.

"WHAT! You were on your way to get food and just let me hold you up!" Peter sounded shocked.

"Well," you rubbed the back of your neck hesitant, "we got caught up," you blushed.

"That's true," Peter dug his heel into the roof of the building nervously.

Things went into a comfortable silence after that. Nothing could bother you everything was awkward yet perfect between you and your best friend. He understood everything you wanted to say even if you talked gibberish. Stepping closer to each other every once in awhile made you smile like nobody's business.

"What are we doing?" Peter finally broke the silent air.

"Teenage things," you smirked as you stepped closer to him one more time touching his chest.

"Mm," he looked down at you, "those are the consequences of being one." He lifted you up with ease. Wrapping your limbs around him knowing this is problematic. But not giving two shits you let him kiss you again, and again, and again. You continuously melted under his touch. Leaving little presents on each other's skin the sensation you felt was indescribable.

"(Y/N)," Peter breathed heavily, "I hate that I need you."

"Why?" you rolled onto him.

"I'm a complete mess without you. Then when we are together nothing makes sense anymore. My head is a wreck," he said at the sky.

Hugging his torso you just comfort him best you can. You knew exactly how he felt. "Why is love so hard?" a tear rolled down your cheek onto Peter's body.

"Love," he smoothed your hair with his hand, "don't cry. I can't stand it when your sad."

"That's the price you pay when your in love with Spider-Man," you get off his body putting your shoes back on and gathering your things. Walking towards the high fire escape you plan to walk down the whole thing. Until you felt Peter grab your wrist stopping you in your tracks. Turning around you see him back in his masked fasade.

"Y-you're in l-love with me?" he stuttered out.

Caressing his hair and face you smiled sweetly, "you know I have always loved you."

"It's just," he blushed under his second skin, "it hasn't really sunk in yet."

You couldn't help but hug the cutest boy on the planet in that moment. Loving him was such a blessing, he was your blessing. You could only hope he felt remotely the same feelings as you did. Feeling a slight wind on your skin you opened your eyes to see the city moving under you.

"Peter," you said as calmly as possible.

"Yes," he replied smooth as butter.

"Why am I in the air?" you swallow the lump in your throat.

"It's quicker than walking," he simply stated.

"But I did not ask you you take me home Peter," you wanted to cross your arms but you did not wish for death.

"Who said I was taking you home?" you could hear him smirk.

Landing on the fire escape outside of Peter's bedroom he opened the window for you. And you never left. . .


	15. goodnight n' go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you stay over at peter's apartment - originally posted on tumblr: october 25th, 2018

You and Peter were inseparable since what you had done on the roof. He didn't do his usual rounds of justice and you weren't hungry anymore. To say you just decided not to miss each other anymore was to say that you only liked pizza. A new understanding was between you and it made you closer than ever.

Spending the rest of the day with Peter you did absolutely nothing important. Wasting time seemed to be your specialty that day. As you talked and smiled and watched stupid movies together. When you got cold he covered you with his body. As the hours past by you started feeling sleepy. The moon rose as the sun set, starting to think you should go home but Peter wouldn't stop clinging to you.

"Stay," he begged.

"But I should really go home Peter," you smiled at him.

"You could always stay the night," he blushed taking a few steps away from you.

"I-I mean," you stuttered, "if I did leave right now a certain spider would have to escort me home."

"And I don't think he is willing to get out of his pyjamas," Peter smirked.

"Lazy that spider," you walked back towards the couch planning on staying.

Peter silently celebrated his victory with a little dance. Watching him you smiled at the dork you loved unconditionally. Suddenly aunt May came into the room cracking up at the sight of Peter's movements. Stopping at the sudden noise Peter turned to look at his aunt with terror. You started giggling at his very red face when he started blubbering to the two of you, "Wh-what is s-so funny?"

"Well I just thought your little dance was cute Peter," May said walking over to ruffle his hair still laughing slightly.

Blushing you responded, "I just, I just thought your reaction to May was priceless."

Peter shot you a glare not having any shit. But you just continued to smile at him. Looking at your beaming face his expression changed into a light, small smile growing as you changed his feeling of embarrassment and mild hate to happiness.

May with food in her mouth just stared at the two of you knowing it was not her place to be in the room. Backing out into her room she bumped into furniture making noises and cursing. Peter was the first to break, laughing at his aunt's shenanigans.

Stopping at the sound bent over trying to rub the pain out of her leg May's eyes widened, "What?"

"You don't have to leave," Peter talked with his hands still laughing.

"I-I don't?" she stood up.

"No, we were just about to put in a movie. You want to join?" he looked at you for confirmation.

"Uh I guess," honestly you didn't know you were going to watch another movie. But you didn't care.

"That doesn't sound like she wants me to stay Peter," May pointed at you.

"(Y/N) you don't mind if May joins us right?" he sat next to you with his arm around your shoulders.

"Well if I'm honest-" you started to say before May threw her hands up in the air dramatically.

"I knew it! I knew I was ruining a date night between you two!" she paced across the room.

"WHAT!" you and Peter said at the same time causing Peter to remove himself from your side.

"No that's not what I meant at all May," you grabbed her attention, "I just didn't know we were going to watch another movie." you flashed your best smile.

"We've been watching movies practically all day," Peter looked at you puzzled.

"Yeah but I thought we could play scrabble or something," you said absentmindedly.

"Oh I would love to play some scrabble," May smiled wide, "let me go get it!" she sprinted to the closet pulling the game down from the top shelf. Only when she came back the sight she saw was too pure to disturb. Two friends talking about everything when they hadn't been this close in months; she couldn't get between you, no one could.

"Do you really want to play scrabble?" Peter asked.

"I wouldn't lie about that Parker. It's one of the games you can't beat me at because your specialty is science," you smirk.

"Well let's play then," he got off the couch.

"But you wanna watch a movie," you took hold of his wrist.

"But you're my guest," he giggled.

"Are we seriously fighting about what to do?" you giggled with him.

"Yeah we are," his smile crinkled his eyes.

Silence fell over the room as you both came down from your laughing cloud. Peter fell back into the couch bringing you with him. Wrapping himself around you looking at you contently he said, "we have to stop being so nice to each other."

"I agree," you paused to look at him, "be a bitch to me."

"What?" he scoffed.

"Be. A. Bitch. To. Me." you repeated taking short pauses in between each word.

"Why?"

"Oh my god you are such a chicken Peter," you palmed your forehead.

"I'm a chicken for not wanting to be mean to you?" he rubbed his chin sarcastically, "Interesting, interesting...."

"Okay then," you got up from his grasp, "maybe I'll just go home."

"NO!" he reached for you. Looking desperate to spend more time with you.

Sitting back down you smiled at the boy who most certainly wasn't a chicken.

"You've convinced me, I'll stay," humming into his ear as you hugged his side, "and you don't have to be a bitch to me. I was just trying to get us to stop being nice to each other," you giggled.

"Oh good," he sighed in relief, "I don't think I know how to be a bitch."

"I know your not a bitch." you kissed his cheek, "or a chicken."

"I don't know I would love to be a chicken," Peter said seriously.

"Are you sure?" you cocked your head to the side furrowing your eyebrows.

"Yeah, why?"

"It's just that, chickens usually, don't exactly......" you paused looking at his sweet face, "they usually don't have the best lives."

"I know. But the ones who do have good lives are lit," he fist pumped the air with his eyes closed biting his lip. It was so hot.

Shaking that thought out of your head as Peter pecked your lips. You have never been more confused; but you had never been so happy.

Aunt May stuck her head out of her room yelling, "IS SHE STILL HERE?"

Splitting away from each other like bullets Peter responded, "YES MAY."

"WELL IF SHE IS GONNA SPEND THE NIGHT MAKE A BED FOR YOURSELF ON THE COUCH!" she closed the door slowly.

"Well you heard the lady," you got off the couch for the umpteenth time heading for Peter's bedroom too tired to even think about heading home.

"So," Peter swung his head back to look at you, "were done hanging out then?"

"For now," you covered your mouth yawning, " **goodnight** , Peter."

" **Goodnight**."

You slept like a baby that night. Sneaking out in the morning to clear your head of all the clouds that had filled you with confusion. You also had things to do and didn't want Peter to keep you from doing them. And he had to be Spider-Man you didn't want to keep him from that. . . again.


	16. no tears left to cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you and peter get matching tattoos to cement your lasting friendship - october 31st, 2018

Eyes covered, Peter lead you towards a surprise. Smiling from ear to ear you couldn't possibly feel your cheeks anymore. Waiting in anticipation as you came to a rough halt.

Peter took his hands away from your eyes revealing a tattoo parlor. A small hole in the wall, probably isn't very sanitary tattoo parlor.

"What! Peter, why are we here?" You were absolutely shocked.

"I thought we could get matching tattoos to ya know," he paused nervously, "mark our everlasting friendship." A pink blush appeared on his face.

"Oh Peter that is so sweet!" You engulfed him in a hug, "of course. I've always wanted a tattoo. It's even better that my first will be with my best friend." You looked at him smiling somehow wider.

Walking into the building you see it decked out in decorations. A particular banner saying 'friends forever' made you tear up a bit. Almost fainting from a mixture of shock, confusion and excitement, Peter managed to catch you like a true friend would.

"Who's celebrating friendship?" a loud voice came over your ears from a back room.

"I am," you muttered.

"Well than look happier kid," a hand went through your hair.

Looking up you saw Tony Stark. He was ruining your hair, and you did not appreciate it. Glaring at the billionaire you gazed into his soul trying to get him to stop touching you.

"Woah, that death glare could actually kill me," Tony backed away with his hands up.

Smoothing out your hair. Trying to get it to look normal again, Peter laughing hysterically. Glaring at him till he stopped and moved over to where Tony was standing for protection. You smirked as you finished touching up your hair.

"What's the matter?" you looked at them with an eyebrow raised.

"N-nothing," Peter stuttered.

"Yeah right kid, because you're totally not scared of her when she gives you that look," Tony hit him over the head.

Peter blushed as you giggled at his remark.

"What are you doing here anyway Stark?" you tried to look at him seriously.

"Peter told me about his idea," he paused putting a hand on Peter's shoulder, "so I pulled a few stings to make it a jazzed up occasion."

"Did you just say 'jazzed up'?" you and Peter said at the same time laughing your asses off.

"What if I did?" Tony crossed his arms staying stern, "would that be a problem?" he looked down on the two of you sunglasses moving towards the floor off his face.

"No sir," Peter saluted him.

You just continued to laugh at how funny he looked with his glasses like that. He looked like a grandparent. Peter nudged you trying to make you stop, but it only made things worse. You started to spasm.

"(Y/N) are you okay?" Peter questioned worryingly as he tried to keep you from falling on the floor.

"I-i-i'm f-fin-e," you stuttered out in between laughs.

"Are you sure?" he looked concerned for your well being.

"Kid she's fine, she said so," Tony tapped his foot impatiently.

"What's up your ass?" you wiggled out of Peter's shallow grip suddenly perfectly fine. Ready to take on the old man.

Tony didn't move, just took the blow cause he was honestly done with their antics. But he would get them back later. They deserved it.

"Woah (Y/N) that was uncalled for," Peter tried to make peace.

"Ugh fine! I just don't understand why the old man has to ruin our day?" you huffed.

"Well for your information in this, the state of New Jersey," he raised his hand up in a type of protest, "you might be old enough to get tattoos but you need a parent or guardian present." he finished with a knowing look to Peter.

Rubbing the back of his neck, cheeks heating Peter started to back away from you.

"Peter," you look over to him, "you could have just told me. I understand."

"You do?" he said nervously not looking up at you.

"Yes silly," you nudged him, "I'm not a monster."

"You act like one," Tony coughed into his hand poorly.

"Are you trying to ruin this day!" Peter went off.

"No I'm just bitter because you like her more than me," Tony said arms crossed over his chest.

"Dude," you shook your head in disappointment.

Peter hung his head low, sad that his mentor would think so little of him. How dare he be jealous of a teenage girl. A grown ass man threatened by a girl in battle was one thing, but this was not a battle.

"Come on. Let's just get this over with," Peter shrugged off any and all comfort you tried to give him.

"Look what you did!" you went up to Tony yelling.

"What?" he acted innocent but it wasn't going to work.

"That Peter loves you with all his heart," you pointed in the direction of where he sulked off, "he has looked up to you for years. And for you to say those words is like a knife to the heart. Now go, go and apologize."

"No," Tony stomped his foot on the ground.

"NOW!" you screamed.

Standing in front of the man you could see how shocked he was at your outburst. Slightly pushing him towards Peter to make sure he apologizes; you feel kinda sad knowing that even though Tony loves Peter he doesn't show emotion well. You know how that feels. Struggling with anxiety over all your over emotions toward Peter, suddenly you needed a hug. Never knowing how to act was a downfall.

They both came back to you in happier spirits than before. But as soon as Peter saw your sad demeanor he ran over to you rubbing your back in comfort. Wrapping your arms around him tightly taking him by surprise. But he hugged you back, even tighter.

"What's wrong?" he took in your sad eyes.

"Just got overwhelmed," you smiled softly.

"Yeah, you feeling better now?" he asked sweetly, "I don't want any sad girls today."

Chuckling a smile spread over your face as you respond, "Yeah I'm better."

"Good, now who wants to get tattooed?" Tony said slapping on a pair of black gloves. Which scared and surprised you.

"Oh that's another part of the surprise," Peter blushed.

"I see that," you gazed down at the black covered hands in horror.

"Your not scared of me are you?" Tony smirked. You could always hear his smirk.

"I'm not scared of you!" you emphasize with your hands, "I'm scared of what you might do to me!"

"I won't hurt you," he said calmly.

"HA! That's funny," you pointed at him looking at Peter, "Peter did you know, he was so funny!"

"If she keeps that up I just might hurt her," Tony said seriously.

"Mr. Stark," Peter shook his head, disappointment laced his voice.

"What?" he furrowed his eyebrows confused.

"Oh no it's fine Peter," taking a step forward looking up at the rich bitch, "he got nothing on me."

"She has you there Mr. Stark," Peter looked over at the face of his mentor. It was blood red and a little pissed off.

Sitting down in a huff Tony set up his station, cleaning all the instruments. He apparently already knew what he was gonna tattoo but you had no idea what you were signing on for.

"Um, Peter," your voice shook, "what exactly are we getting tattooed on our bodies?"

"Uh," Peter looked down, "a spider."

"A spider, really Parker," you giggled, "I knew you were cheesy but that's a little suttle isn't it?"

"You want something bigger?"

"No oh my god! I'm just pulling your leg!" you pushed him playfully.

"Oh thank god cause I drew them myself," he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to you.

Looking at the paper you smiled loving the little spiders. You didn't know Peter was such a good artist, "They are perfect."

"Okay, that's good. Now who wants to go first?" Tony said rubbing his hands together.

You and Peter just looked at each other, both nervous. Ready to help the other through a skin altering procedure.

"I got you," you said holding Peter's hand tightly.

"I know," he screwed his eyes shut looking away as the needle penetrated the skin. Tears started to fall from his eyes making you laugh on the inside.

It was your turn, Peter was sitting next to you still recovering. You had decided to get your tattoo in a different place. Not because you were afraid of crying but because you are obsessed with tattoos and know which places hurt the most and where it hurts the least.

"You want me to hold your hand?" Peter leaned forward looking at your face.

"Of course," you held out your hand for him.

Taking it he said, "I got you."

"I know," you took a deep breath in ready for your forever art.

As Tony wrapped you up telling you about how to clean your tattoo when you get home; all you could think about was what did this mean? What did it mean for your future? With Pete. You knew you would always be friends you didn't need a tattoo to know that, it was just one of the perks. But the fact that the tattoo is a spider and it's a secret you two share and keep together means more than just friendship.


End file.
